Feeling of Waiting for the Barbarians(publish on weekend)

By xrspook @ 12:55:46 归类于:想当年的作业

J.M. Coetzee writes waiting for the barbariass. He is a famous writer of South Africa. Last year, he got the Nobel Prize of literature. Reading his books is by chance. Because this year some of his books were published in China widely, and I know he is not an ordinary writer, no only write some simple life and landscape, his books are all meaningful, need to be chewed.


I like the Colombia writer Garcia Marquez’s books very much. One Hundred Year of Solitude is my most love book. This book has its deep, need us to chew it carefully. At first, you will feel very funny, but as the story went on, you will fall into deeply thinking, at last, you will have a strong echo in your heart, you almost feel cannot help but be sad for the hero.


Waiting for The Barbarians gives me the same feeling. The main role of the book is not the real hero, or you can say he is not the traditional hero. Though in many form and thought he is strange, he was right and stand for justice, at the same time, in some parts of him show he just a useless man, a rubbish, also you will very hate him. Because his in capable and despicable. (Sex, I think is not a very guilty thing in foreign country, at least in South Africa and Colombia, they show me that it just a human normal needing, and not be afraid to talk about it) Of course, read those books are not for those things. If use a Chinese thinking method to decide, the protagonist just a normal person, and the writer in China won’t write such a story, because they think Chinese used to super hero, and all the protagonist must perfect. But I think we need a vivid person not a dream person, a god! The writers in China can’t find out such a race problem, and they don’t want to talk about the social in fiction, I think it is a big problem.


From the book, I find a really vivid person. Though he is a very strange and has different kinds of contradiction, all his thought are most different from others (the person are written in that book).


The main ideas of that book show some social problems to us in its special way. Through the curious and pure imagine story, we don’t just see the distorted imagine world, and unthinkable person but we saw another part of our really world and maybe can see ourselves or our friends. The people are all unimaginable, but it really happens around us. The book as a mirror lets us see our world and ourselves. It’s the power of literature. A story came out are not just for amuse, let people waste their time easily, they must show some big problems, but now from directly taking punitive action against, it use its tactful way.


Waiting for The Barbarians show us the problem of civilization and barbarous. What’s civilization? Who are barbarians? Why need to wait for them? The writer did not give us a certain answer, but after reading, you will be surely hold your believe.


Because of some social problems that people can’t explain, they make out barbarians. Because of solving these barbarians they catch some innocent herdsman, put the entire criminal on them use ferocious ay punish them. For the social problem hadn’t been solved yet in such wrong way, they have to catch more innocent people to perform their duty perfunctorily. Barbarians became the representative crime. The protagonist is an administrator; also because of his strange and useless activity, he became a prisoner, and then suffers terrible beat up and unthinkable torture. At last, annihilate barbarians certainly can’t success. The armies of destroy barbarians because of plenty of nature reason (nature reasons are all made by themselves, such as desert and can’t find water). Nature and themselves broke down the unbreakable army instead of the dummy barbarians. This story didn’t have a clear ending, when I read the last sentence, the story still go on in my mind, the villages’ future and the administrator’s life. It’s made me have a very big association. I can’t forget them in a long time; I think a lot of things. The ugly part of the really world, suddenly I know the modern world terrible crisis I have duty to do something for the whole world, also I feel I’m tiny, maybe all the things I have done are do not impact anything. I want to change, but I can’t become the second protagonist.


The most moving me part is the description of the details of beating and the terrible torture. They are so real, just like the bloody things happen in front of me. All the wounds are so clear, the cause of them are descript, you almost can feel that pain. The way of J.M Coetzee descript of these things are so different from others. He uses the first person, but others usually uses the third person, the angle is so different, and make me have real feeling. I am present on the spot, become a part of the story, suffer the things, I can’t say the feeling words, but I really feel it.


J.Z Coetzee is so great! The social need such person to let us know the weak point. That’s the really “applications of literature ”, ordinary personnel to wake up from sleeping emptiness.



By xrspook @ 1:35:18 归类于:烂日记


我又为danzhuBetty网更新了,一连来了2个post, 因为十月份太忙,当我想在最后两个星期更新的时候又怎么都连不上Bloggerblogger实在太多人用了,无论设备和速度都比不上世界上或者国内的很多写blog的地方,但它有一点是做得很好的就是知道自己因为有太多用户经常不稳定,所以为每一blog都提供了方便的FTP设置,可以使blog架在别的地方而免遭威胁,或因浏览者过多而被封。每个月去更新成了我不成文的责任。


在这一年里我尽心尽力把我搜集到的所有有关Yo soy Betty, la Fea, AMOJEA的东西都放到那里。搜集花去的时间还不算多,更烦我的是怎样把我下载,我拥有,但却不能把下载资源展示的东西放上去给别人下载。由一开始想利用系统原有的上存功能,再到与danzhu联系,让她上存,然后到利用yahoo公文包,最后到现在利用永硕硬盘。可以说,我一直都在为如何把我的视频和大家分享烦恼。身为一个超级fans,我完全理解fans们是如何渴望看到那个网有更新的,因为我曾几何时也是期盼的一员。但原来看到自己有资源,但却苦无办法与大家分享也很烦恼,管理人员也有很烦的一面。一个晚上,5、6个小时都上不了发表文章的时候,自己有能力,有精力,但客观环境不允许,也是一件很烦人的事。

发表的2个post都是有关JEAAnita, no te rajes的东东。第一个的日期我写为2004年10月31日,是以我对Anita, no te rajes剧情叙述为主,加了一个有分集剧照的连接,只有一个主题曲的视频可下载。第二个post是全部由视频组成,一共有十几个视频,都是我辛苦寻找回来的资料。其中还有我用snooper和影音传送带搞下来的Anita, no te rajes片段,可以说是呕心沥血。我知道,当年的danzhu也会像我现在这么疯狂,甚至比我还要疯。她对的是“Yo soy Betty, la Fea”我对的是“Jorge Enrique Abello”。





By xrspook @ 0:44:04 归类于:烂日记









I Am The Ugly One

By xrspook @ 21:46:00 归类于:烂日记

The university sports meeting eventually held today. I didn’t hold and hope or confidence long before. I won’t be the superstar; the only request is I wouldn’t be the ugly one. Actually, my terrible dream came true.


Arrived at the Huashang playground, and I had to find one to hold my tennis pat, there were only two people I know, I had no choice but one. Wait a while, and I had to go to check in. They asked me to go there before my item started, so I did it. As the tradition of SCAU, they wouldn’t start their work on time. SCAU has a very strange tradition; the entire athletes have their own amahs. The amahs help athletes do some things and let them to do better. My amah is a female, and just like a SBB. I didn’t know how to say my demand and he didn’t know how to do something to make me better either.


I saw a girl in my Food College dressed in all red, the red vest and the red shorts; all the dresses just liked the professor athletes. In the college select compete; I had experience her “professor”(just look like) preparative exercise. And this time, her dress showed her must be the superstar, but I wonder, could she do that. Because even in the college select compete, she just got the second prize (and I was the third), did she hold her strength, I didn’t know, and none of my business. Her amahs also use something to gather up, to let her muscles to in the fittest state, I also wonder whether it was useful, even so, I wouldn’t let it happen on me. The reason was her amah is a girl and mine is a boy. My SBB amah was still SBB. He knew nothing at all. I had to do my preparation and he stands far away, and just nursing my bag and shoes. The “professor” girl started her “professor” preparation still. The female 100-metre race was about to start. I was in the first group, and without a real amah, I had to find someone to affirm. So I asked the “professor” girl in my group, and her answer (in a cold voice) was “Of count! Are you sleeping?” At that time, I really wanted to give her a heavy punch, and let her collapse before the completion. But I controlled myself and replied a “thank you” as a manner. In fact, the raging fire was burning inside, if I did a good job, I would “give you some cooler to see see”. But this thought disappear rapidly, the fact let it die. When I still drive my run up machine, the judge shout “ready”, I had to squatted in a very uncomfortable way, and when begin, my heart was still in its proper place. When I started my running, I had 5 meters behind other. And I was also not a superman; I couldn’t let the miracle to happen. I lose in a very ugly way. And the “professor ” girl got the first prize of this group. But after a while, I heard she still couldn’t attend the final, though she and me were in the same college, in a short time, I really felt a little happy. Was I a “bad heart” one?


It seemed I could go home. I went to get back my tennis pat, and could leave the sad place. But another accident that shows my ugly happened.


My classmate who kept my tennis pat was not there. And I asked anybody I knew, but still could not find her, so it meant I couldn’t leave. I didn’t afraid. I found anywhere of the playground, asked anybody just liked a mad person, but the result was still zero. After two hour, I still couldn’t fine her. After the completion, I didn’t why my knee was bleeding, my amah asked me at that time, I just say nothing serious, and after two hours I still had no pain, the wound looked a little terrible, but actually or by heart, I really felt nothing. Even though I forgot I have hurt. The biggest problem was I must find out my tennis pat classmate. She didn’t have mobile phone and nobody knew where she was. After two hours searching, I didn’t have any endurance anymore. When I saw my other classmates, I would immediately yell at them. I didn’t how horrible I was, but I must be a crazy man. Yelling at anybody, and the action just liked I killed the people who disappeared with my tennis pat. I couldn’t control myself, I just knew to show my feeling at that way, but in fact, I was just impatient and had no complaint to that classmate at all. In others’ eyes, my visualize must be completely collapse. That’s my emotion weak point. I had no different between Antonio (La Coteña y El Cachao) always complains, and Armando at the very beginning always yell at others. I didn’t know whether others would remember this thing forever, if it did, I had no choice.

我把我最丑恶的一面都在今天展现了。失败的比赛,失败的交流,失败的表达,失败的控制……虽然这一切都不是我想怎样就怎样的,但这就是我的致命弱点,我接受,我必须接受。我需要从中改正,与此同时我需要时间我需要试验,希望他人会给我。我要成为一个新的我。现在回想起,我还有一个缺点就是现在不喜欢别人挑我的刺,对我说“no, no, no”,我必须改掉。我要成为勇于面对诤言的从前的无私的小时候的我,剔除自己的任何私心,做一个单纯的人,虽然单纯的人很傻,但只有很傻的人才能无私地为人民服务。

xrspook, the ugly one, is the last time to be the ugly. 


Some Knots In My Stomach

By xrspook @ 0:46:35 归类于:烂日记

Because of tomorrow sports meeting, I couldn’t go home today. It’s really an extremely good chance. Because of 0.5point, I miss a golden chance. After three weeks we will have tennis test, but now I couldn’t control my ball, as I liked. And the most terrible thing was I had to have 800-metre race test next week or the week after the next week. 800-metre is my biggest knot. Every time I afraid of it very much. Maybe for it’s terrible process, it just continual a few minutes, but during this time I will just like going to the hell and then coming back, the bad feeling can’t describe by words. All the muscles of your body are very tired, and your breath heavily, each breath you can feel the pain from your nose, you mouse, your trachea and your lung. Your body no matter inside or outside is in a more unconformable state. And then after the nonhuman 4 minutes, I will like catch a terrible cold for a week. So I like all the sport except 800-metre race, I can’t stand that horrible feeling. So now, I began to be afraid that test, though I know I must past or get a full mark, I really hate that test.


可恶可恶,今天晚上听的又是那个党委的“梁主任”。军训期间已见识过他说话的厉害,普通话极端不准,说话长气得无法形容,今天又是他经典的“今天我们的话题就从这里开始”,此时,全场04大一新生都发出了起哄,回想一个月前军训期间在开大会的时候,以为他要说完,谁知说了这句话,使我们掉进了深渊……虽然环境不同,但我们还心有余悸,惊弓之鸟嘛,心有感触。这个讲座本来是有0.2分,但我们的学术手册还没到,以为可以来拿,谁知其他人都有,今天又要上交才有0.2分,这不是耍我们吗?扣留了我们的手册,又搞到我们白坐2个半小时,很讨厌,决定明晚一定不去开它的会员大会,哼,give you some colour to see see(胡说)。

How can I solve my knot?

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