2004-11
10

To be a Designer

By xrspook @ 2:50:48 归类于:烂日记

My class is going to make our own clothes and flag. So every dormitory must designs their owe one. “The fire burns high when everybody adds wood to it.” A united people are like a strong city fortification, everyone must do something for it.

I always thought to make “Food”, “Science”, “Three”, “Zero” and “Four” together in a sign to be our badge. Of course I must choose the first letters. In math classes, when the teacher was not speaking something, I would go to in my mind to unite those things together. I was not a professor designer; I hadn’t had any class about it before. The only thing I had was a warm heart, and a very pressing hope. After many times failed, I got an idea!
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              (1)                                                                                      (2)
The second one is my first designs, but it is void of the letter “S”, in fact, it is easier to understand. The first one is more activity. The shape of “S” hair, it’s very modern and meaningful.

And then we also must design four sentences to be our leading words: “超越自我,激励成功”,”Just do it”,”‘食’力无限,’品’劲十足”,”活力无限食工(3)”. The second I repeated we are not the professor of advertisement designers, so the sign and the words maybe also terrible and can’t bring to the others, but sincerely, they are all made by us in heart. Also, we wrote a Fido Dido in the back of the clothes (the 7 up’s model) in his (Fido Dido) shirt, we will write our number. At first we want to write some Chinese character in the right and downs side of the shirt, but you know, the Chinese character are too difficult to write, so at last, though we had such design, we gave up.

不明白为什么我的设计总是那么死板,那么烂,全是刚劲没有半点温柔,即使有温柔的地方我也打算改掉。我到底还是不是女生?为什么我的设计就会如此的奇怪呢?一个像在唱歌的男人,除了包含了“F,S,T,O,四”五个基本元素外其余没有一丝特殊含义,而且总体看上去很怪,为什么?为什么?为什么我会想这些东西?

明天就有体育课了,真的很怕跑800,很怕,很怕怕,真的很怕怕。又不会不合格,我也不知怕什么,我真是一个十分怕辛苦的人,真的吃不了苦。谁又会心甘情愿的主动去吃苦啊!又有谁一点都不怕累啊!

又一次证明,我是一个没什么好设计意念的人。肯定当不了设计师了。

2004-11
9

Cloudy Day Made Me Upset

By xrspook @ 2:40:00 归类于:烂日记

I like the sun is shining, and the birds are singing, and then my happiness is coming. I don’t like cloudy day, it made me think about poor things or boring things.

The rainy day I also don’t very enjoy. But as I live in Guangzhou, I have to face it every year. In the cloudy and wet day, everywhere is in cold and moist, you almost can smell mold just around you. The fortunate thing is that the climate in Guangzhou is not Mediterranean Climate. The summer is hot and dry, but the winter is cold and wet. This kind of climate appears in J.Z. Coetzee & Garcia Márquez stories, just when I read them, I hate that weather, and it makes heavy and me upset.

It is a long time that I haven’t seen rain here. A lot of places are too dry to grow crops and food, thought I don’t like raining, in heart, I really hope it rain. The cloudy day let me feel, as I can’t breath, it’s so suppress. When the English class was going, I heard “sha”, and then looked out of windows, it rained at last. It’s the second I met rain in South China Agricultural University. The first I was still in military training, and that experience was so terrible, but this time, I just needed to sit in the classroom and shared the moment.

今天的风好象大了,天真的凉了吗?昨天的蚊子弄得我无法入睡。为什么广州的秋天看不到黄叶纷飞,却见雨了呢?什么秋高气爽,怎么我没有一点感觉?树叶没黄,因为五山公寓这里连一棵大点的树都没有,地上的草全黄了,不知是不堪8000多人的践踏还是因为开始它们秋天的新衣,正准备着冬天的休息,然后决定明春再闯一番新事业呢?它们有如此长远的计划,但我却没有,我连明天要干什么,为什么要干,怎么干都不知道。 我没有“I want it that way” instead I have no way in my brain.

The wind is bigger, the rain is heavily, but my brain-storm hasn’t come.我不是幻想家,绝对绝佳的设计理念,甚至我连自己都预测不到。如果要用一种颜色形容今天,一定是灰色,没有重点,没有激越,没有脾气,没有欢乐,什么都没有,“xrspook in the middle”,是一种不死不活,不上不下,不左不右的状态。

今天,是一个同学的生日,昨天努力的查字典,学会了一句西文¡Feliz cumpleceños!—Happy birthday!到此为止第一句为用而学的西文。

Cloudy day, upset me.

2004-11
8

I am Used to

By xrspook @ 1:39:13 归类于:烂日记

As days go by, no matter you like or not, the sun still up and down. The human just as the water, base on the condition and then change their shape. Maybe now, I can base on the life and have changed myself.

I don’t mean I have changed a lot, but it’s enough for me to have a new habit. The classes still 45 min/part; the making machine graphic lessons still have 4 in Monday afternoon. When the classes are over, the light of the sun has been over. I go to have supper in the moon ray. Beside the teaching buildings and our apartments, there is a big comer residence, the lights of that have been turn on. At that time, I don’t know why, I will feel very calm and dram that I am at home. Just the little ray of light makes me think a lot. I still remember, when I was a little child, I also liked to see thousands of lights from citizens’ families, which made me feel happy, especially when I was alone. I like watch human light to the stars in the sky. The stars just let me think about cold and faraway, can’t be touchable. Watching the light from houses, I will dream what will be in my future family. Will it be warm feeling? Will I be happy with my husband and child? And what will us do? Will we be Eating supper or watching TV? In my little brain, just a family can bring warm feeling.

I must control my temper, I can’t complain frequently. Now, just a tiny thing, I used to yell at people. Though it doesn’t mean I am really very angry, yet in strangers’ eyes, I must be a crazy person, and only my friends will know I just take serious, and the form of showing feeling was too violent. I am under control in my heart, but I can’t show others in action, that’s my problem.

数学课第一、二节,我又进入了朦胧状态,事实上我睡得已不少了,至少昨晚就比平时早睡了半个小时。难道因为牛奶?难道因为课室二氧化碳太多?还是因为我对咖啡已经产生了抗体?我不知道,反正一切的结果就是,我朦胧,我胡混。从小学到高中我从来就没有这恐怖的感觉,为什么?为什么大学的这种感觉就如此强烈?

我一直是个完全被潮流抛离的人,因为我不想追,不想跟。我妈也绝对不会让我做那些无谓的事。前2天,终于在“牛津高阶双解——第六版”的增补词条中发现了“blog”这个词,我居然在出词典之前就开始写blog,我这次又算不算引领潮流呢?起码在中国,我也是一个思想较早“改革开放”的人吧。

我志在四方,中国留不住我,我心已飞向世界,在世界的大潮之中我一定要做到适时而变。

2004-11
7

Feeling of Waiting for the Barbarians(publish on weekend)

By xrspook @ 12:55:46 归类于:想当年的作业

J.M. Coetzee writes waiting for the barbariass. He is a famous writer of South Africa. Last year, he got the Nobel Prize of literature. Reading his books is by chance. Because this year some of his books were published in China widely, and I know he is not an ordinary writer, no only write some simple life and landscape, his books are all meaningful, need to be chewed.

 

I like the Colombia writer Garcia Marquez’s books very much. One Hundred Year of Solitude is my most love book. This book has its deep, need us to chew it carefully. At first, you will feel very funny, but as the story went on, you will fall into deeply thinking, at last, you will have a strong echo in your heart, you almost feel cannot help but be sad for the hero.

 

Waiting for The Barbarians gives me the same feeling. The main role of the book is not the real hero, or you can say he is not the traditional hero. Though in many form and thought he is strange, he was right and stand for justice, at the same time, in some parts of him show he just a useless man, a rubbish, also you will very hate him. Because his in capable and despicable. (Sex, I think is not a very guilty thing in foreign country, at least in South Africa and Colombia, they show me that it just a human normal needing, and not be afraid to talk about it) Of course, read those books are not for those things. If use a Chinese thinking method to decide, the protagonist just a normal person, and the writer in China won’t write such a story, because they think Chinese used to super hero, and all the protagonist must perfect. But I think we need a vivid person not a dream person, a god! The writers in China can’t find out such a race problem, and they don’t want to talk about the social in fiction, I think it is a big problem.

 

From the book, I find a really vivid person. Though he is a very strange and has different kinds of contradiction, all his thought are most different from others (the person are written in that book).

 

The main ideas of that book show some social problems to us in its special way. Through the curious and pure imagine story, we don’t just see the distorted imagine world, and unthinkable person but we saw another part of our really world and maybe can see ourselves or our friends. The people are all unimaginable, but it really happens around us. The book as a mirror lets us see our world and ourselves. It’s the power of literature. A story came out are not just for amuse, let people waste their time easily, they must show some big problems, but now from directly taking punitive action against, it use its tactful way.

 

Waiting for The Barbarians show us the problem of civilization and barbarous. What’s civilization? Who are barbarians? Why need to wait for them? The writer did not give us a certain answer, but after reading, you will be surely hold your believe.

 

Because of some social problems that people can’t explain, they make out barbarians. Because of solving these barbarians they catch some innocent herdsman, put the entire criminal on them use ferocious ay punish them. For the social problem hadn’t been solved yet in such wrong way, they have to catch more innocent people to perform their duty perfunctorily. Barbarians became the representative crime. The protagonist is an administrator; also because of his strange and useless activity, he became a prisoner, and then suffers terrible beat up and unthinkable torture. At last, annihilate barbarians certainly can’t success. The armies of destroy barbarians because of plenty of nature reason (nature reasons are all made by themselves, such as desert and can’t find water). Nature and themselves broke down the unbreakable army instead of the dummy barbarians. This story didn’t have a clear ending, when I read the last sentence, the story still go on in my mind, the villages’ future and the administrator’s life. It’s made me have a very big association. I can’t forget them in a long time; I think a lot of things. The ugly part of the really world, suddenly I know the modern world terrible crisis I have duty to do something for the whole world, also I feel I’m tiny, maybe all the things I have done are do not impact anything. I want to change, but I can’t become the second protagonist.

 

The most moving me part is the description of the details of beating and the terrible torture. They are so real, just like the bloody things happen in front of me. All the wounds are so clear, the cause of them are descript, you almost can feel that pain. The way of J.M Coetzee descript of these things are so different from others. He uses the first person, but others usually uses the third person, the angle is so different, and make me have real feeling. I am present on the spot, become a part of the story, suffer the things, I can’t say the feeling words, but I really feel it.

 

J.Z Coetzee is so great! The social need such person to let us know the weak point. That’s the really “applications of literature ”, ordinary personnel to wake up from sleeping emptiness.

2004-11
7

Responsibility

By xrspook @ 1:35:18 归类于:烂日记

虽然题目是英文,但我却没打算用英文完成这篇文章。因为提到“责任”,因为我觉得自己又负了一次责任。

我又为danzhuBetty网更新了,一连来了2个post, 因为十月份太忙,当我想在最后两个星期更新的时候又怎么都连不上Bloggerblogger实在太多人用了,无论设备和速度都比不上世界上或者国内的很多写blog的地方,但它有一点是做得很好的就是知道自己因为有太多用户经常不稳定,所以为每一blog都提供了方便的FTP设置,可以使blog架在别的地方而免遭威胁,或因浏览者过多而被封。每个月去更新成了我不成文的责任。

开始的时候认为danzhu给了这个权利给我就要好好利用,不去辜负她。但如今,我的动力已经完全改变,随着danzhudl25开始不管理更新网页以后,我就成为那里有新信息的唯一希望。如今我的动力是我不去更新,中国Betty迷就没有“家”。还差2个月,我就更新管理1年了。这个Betty中国网是在2002年9月开的,我从2004年1月开始发表我的第一个post,快一年了。

在这一年里我尽心尽力把我搜集到的所有有关Yo soy Betty, la Fea, AMOJEA的东西都放到那里。搜集花去的时间还不算多,更烦我的是怎样把我下载,我拥有,但却不能把下载资源展示的东西放上去给别人下载。由一开始想利用系统原有的上存功能,再到与danzhu联系,让她上存,然后到利用yahoo公文包,最后到现在利用永硕硬盘。可以说,我一直都在为如何把我的视频和大家分享烦恼。身为一个超级fans,我完全理解fans们是如何渴望看到那个网有更新的,因为我曾几何时也是期盼的一员。但原来看到自己有资源,但却苦无办法与大家分享也很烦恼,管理人员也有很烦的一面。一个晚上,5、6个小时都上不了发表文章的时候,自己有能力,有精力,但客观环境不允许,也是一件很烦人的事。

发表的2个post都是有关JEAAnita, no te rajes的东东。第一个的日期我写为2004年10月31日,是以我对Anita, no te rajes剧情叙述为主,加了一个有分集剧照的连接,只有一个主题曲的视频可下载。第二个post是全部由视频组成,一共有十几个视频,都是我辛苦寻找回来的资料。其中还有我用snooper和影音传送带搞下来的Anita, no te rajes片段,可以说是呕心沥血。我知道,当年的danzhu也会像我现在这么疯狂,甚至比我还要疯。她对的是“Yo soy Betty, la Fea”我对的是“Jorge Enrique Abello”。

今天的日记也换了本子,更厚,一篇日记打算写2面,也就是1页,这样就不用怕不够位置要写微缩英语了。英语天天写也不是办法,用来用去都是几个词,我自己也闷,我需要的是有质量的文章。

做个负责任的人。(我不是在卖XX广告)

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