2004-12
3

blog,使我爱上写作

By xrspook @ 21:06:22 归类于: 烂日记

还记得当年小的时候写作文的痛苦经历。每篇东东都要起稿,然后经过妈妈的审阅,然后经过修改抄正,再次审阅,重复几次,然后方可抄正,我的天!痛苦死了。每次的作文来了都头痛得要死,因为根本没有任何材料可写,身边千千万万的事在身边溜走,但我视而不见。况且我从小就不喜欢抄别人的东西,即使是写作小册子归纳的描写词句我都不爱“参考”,我觉得参考了就是抄别人的东西,不诚实。在这样一个母亲和这样的性格之下,我的写作一直处在痛苦之中。

初高中离开了母亲的束缚,终于有一点“大展拳脚”的机会,但作文题目的限制,和作业的繁忙,令我也错过了许多。为交作业而写,为完成任务而写,有时甚至是极端的应付。课本的落后也是我写不出好文的制约之一。直到高三,无边无际的作文压过来,我不能再把心关在笼子里,用没有感情的文字应付,于是,我的眼,我的心,我终于有一点儿打开心窗。无边的作文使我觉得作文不再是件难事,随时遇到,见招拆招,开始有一点随心所欲。但无论怎样,那还是有限制的。

直到我开始自己的blog,为自己而写,不为别人,不怕别人嘲笑(因为可能没人看),但又可以让别人看到,感觉真的不错。其实开始的时候根本一头冒水,开blog的原因真的搞不懂,自己傻呆呆的写啊写,也没有什么感觉。感触特别深的可以说没有。

每天都写,每天都打,心和电脑有一天终于合二为一,终于习惯了用电脑表达内心的感受。我承认,我的文章,特别是大学生活的文章的确有点流水帐,但人不可能天天都有灵感,我不是专业的作家,我要学习,我要其它的生活,我的资料,我的输入就是日常生活,我没有创造地狱和天堂的能力。令我感动的只有亲情和友情,爱情我没试过,我没有发言权,所以我在这个问题上保持沉默。

过上独立的大学生活,使我对亲情的感受越来越深刻。当局者迷,一直没有珍惜到自己的拥有。通过写作,我似乎可以把内心说不出来的东西表现出来,而且真切。写作的目的就是表现自己的感受,最高的境界是打动他人,使别人产生共鸣。我真的不会写华丽的词句,我也不会写,也永远不会写,浅白的东西,平淡的例子,已经够了。我只是一个普通人,我没有惊天动地的大故事。

blog,真的感谢你,你给了我一个发展的空间,一个展示的平台!

2004-12
2

Bad Luck

By xrspook @ 2:08:08 归类于: 烂日记

Can you believe how bad luck I was today? I hurt many times in a day.

At the very beginning, it's not so bad. The chemistry classes I could hear very earnest, because I had finished all the chemistry homework, can you believe it almost cost me "6 or 7 hours"! How I would not know the subject very well. All the things the teacher said I was very clear. I knew what did her mean. For a long time, I knew the chemistry lessons clearly again. It's so great! If I were clear at the very beginning maybe I wouldn't have do my homework so painful.

The English classes were also very happy. The Viewing, Listening& Speaking classes, I was enjoying all the time. Because I had preview very well, and the new words were not very difficult, and the topic was convenient to me. I found the teacher stare at me for several times. The reasons were that I was the only one who answered her questions. Others kept silent, I didn't know whether they knew or not. I could make teacher notice me, that feeling was so good.

The physical pain began in the P.E. classes. Today was tennis test day. The content of the test was one person stood at the half of playground and threw the balls to the other who stood at the bottom line (the person was testing); she must beat the ball to the "good area" at the other side. And she must beat six ball continually, so she would pass, but it didn't mean she had got a good mark, it just show she was up to the minimum standard. My partner was the people who had test in front of me, so I first threw the balls for her. (I must throw 10 balls; the fourth at the beginning were just for practice.)

And when I finished throwing and went back to carry my pat to start my test. I hit at a rotor of a pillar heavily on my leg. It's so painful, because I run again it in a high speed, but I had to start my test. So bad luck I was. In this situation, I started my test. At that time, I felt nothing, maybe I was too enjoying. But the bad luck just started. I couldn't see the bottom line at the other side, because the sun was shining so brightly. And the only thing I remembered was that I beat my ninth ball very far away. I didn't have confident to check my mark. In my opinion, it's so poor. After that I continued my practice. At end of the P.E. classes, the teacher scolded at all of us, he said we could do better, but we didn't, so we must have our test again next week. Although I had pass, I got the second in the 40 people class, despite I must have my test again.

My leg used to be very thick, and "today's hit" made it became much thicker, and a bruise came out, though it was abnormality for me to have a bruise. That's the cost of getting the second place. I have never hurt myself for a long time.

Why me? So bad luck today! Why me! Though I had passed, yet I paid a pain for it, I don't think it's worthy.

2004-12
1

一个无心向学的学生

By xrspook @ 2:07:49 归类于: 烂日记

从前的日子总是家长、学校逼学生,你别无选择,每天天未亮就出门口,天黑都没回到家。一天7-8节课,每节40分钟,间断为10分钟,什么时候吃早餐,午餐,午觉都被限得死死的。没有半点自由可言,日复一日相同的事,但从前的我却没有产生任何的抗拒,也没有烦厌的感觉,因为我别无选择。因为我当时太childish?不成熟?没有为自己着想?还是因为我根本没有为自己着想的时间?

如今我有上午10:00才开始上的课,我可以8点多甚至9点才起床,但为什么我那么多怨言?对老师我以前是无欲无求,但如今我则诸多挑剔,因为老师一点点的误差,我会耿耿于怀。因为当时教我的只是普通师范出来的大专生?而如今则是来自五湖四海,经过过五关斩六将而幸存的“高材”研究生甚至教授?不对他们严格对谁严格?他们也有如此多的“问题”如何叫我们完美啊!

毛论的课真的是越来越“非洲和尚——黑人‘僧’”。听到毛XX我就不想听下去了。对毛XX本来就不喜欢,还要接受一大堆他的东西,真的顶不顺。以前都觉得挺有趣的东西都变得平淡无味甚至觉得讨厌,看见就心烦。不知是教材编排得太烂了还是别的,反正一点都吸引不了我。我心烦得死,况且今天的电脑也坏了,于是老师就用他那“一点儿”的声音,写着他那“一丁点”的字讲课,我半句没听,一直在用心记英语单词。以前我最不喜欢就是记单词,看了就悃,但如今我则很有兴趣,特别看着一大堆的单词会令我联想到很多很多。时间真的可以彻底地改变一个人。一个人的兴趣,一个人的情绪,一个人的理想,一个人的心境……太多太多……

Time will go on, a lot change completely, but some never fade. The true  love, love friends, love relatives and maybe love partner. I can’t forget the beautiful or painful things happened in the pass. Though the sun and moon rise and down, the memory in the old place as they used to  be. They don’t like all the media will disappear because of all kinds of unthinkable reasons. It makes me think about a song “友共情”——时光可变,世界可变,人情亦许多都变迁,友共情,不变,那种真找不到缺点;你我再次相见, 随年和月身心虽耗损,友共情难扭转,心内那热暖还是纯真,未变……

一首小学时代的歌,我依然深深的留在心中,只要是对的,我会坚持直到永远。一个无心向学的学生写下了一篇“回忆”的呼唤。

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