2005-03
18

我自己

By xrspook @ 23:41:19 归类于: 烂日记

这个星期有太多太多的时间在想自己,在想过去的自己,现在的自己和未来的自己。日记几乎天天都在说自己的感受,少了很多直观的评述和描述。自己沉醉在自己之中。我实在好像不知道该如何考虑别人。别人需要我考虑吗?我的考虑,他们会知道吗?因为我曾经有太多的考虑,而又没有回音,我已经很消沉了。是他们太沉默,还是我越来越没有斗志,越来越自私了?

如果别人不说,我真的不会知道他们是否认可我。没有回音,石沉大海,我讨厌这样的感受。有没有人知道我的存在?今天回来打开blogbus的统计页面,居然这个星期有251的访问量,真的吗?3月份以来访问量似乎一个个星期在上升,真的吗?还是统计又出了问题。页面上一个很直观实际的访问统计死掉了,刚才花了好些时间来寻找一个好的免费统计。我不是为统计而活,但看到数据来源会让人心踏实一点。

为了到处找免费计数器,于是开了“天网”结果“!”不断,什么什么要侵占的我断口,被拦截,然后有什么什么数据包,也被拦截。有那么多人打我电脑的主意吗?他们无聊啊!一个普通人,我不是比尔盖茨,我什么用都没有。他们真的那么对我有兴趣吗?还是“天网”自己要自作聪明无事搞事,乱出数据表示它的厉害。我不是编程的,我不知道。

实在没有心情再说什么笑话了,没有什么好笑的。即使虽然好笑,我现在也没有什么好笑的心情了。

blogbus的论坛打不开了,应该是正在升级。发现这个编写日记的页面多了2个快捷功能,一个是加入flash一个是加入多媒体。同时好像页面的分页问题也解决了,这是第11篇日记,如果分页成功,那么这篇东西就会和其余9篇出现在主页,要不就只是它孤身一人出现了。不过这个星期的日记还没有打完,所以,即使孤身也不会很寂寞的,很快就有伙伴了。

说多无谓,马上试一下。

2005-03
17

Serve the ball (Ⅱ)

By xrspook @ 0:30:01 归类于: 烂日记

Thank goodness, the weather is still OK. I had my tennis classes again. As I have said, I must be eager to rain to my roommates and desire sunshine by heart. It's very conflict, therefore, if I want to keep my friendship, I have to do that again and again. I'm really very afraid that if one day I tell them the truth, what they will do to me or what I will be. So I always prevent myself to think about that unwilling thought.

The practice we had today was also serve the ball and kick the ball from here to there by two person.

If you say you can pat a good ball is very hard, that you can pat a ball and your partner can catch it cna be an impossible thing. In my opinion, my actions have been very quick, though my partner's balls are also very good, the right place, the right power, I still can't pat them back. The return of my balls have two result, stop by the net or too far to catch again. I have do my best, no matter how high the coming balls are or how far they had gone. Unforturnately, the lucky was never by my side, fail, fail, fail… At that time, I really hoped the teacher came and gave me some scold. I need them, yet I waitted two classes, they hadn't arrived. I needed to know what's wrong with me, however, it's a normal tennis classes had 40 learner. If I'm not the worst or the best, nobody will pay attention to me.

Serve the ball is also a great weak point to me. It will stop by the net or fall at the bottom line. At two classes, I didn't overcome it. But after that, there's a little first light to me. Under my friend's special training, I can success in 50%.50% balls are serve in the right place, no matter they can be pat back or not, at least, they are right.

Throw the ball , bent the knee and then have a little patient, at last use a normal power to kick it. That's all the thing I can do, and the last result was decided by the lord.

Didn't use Español for a long time, let´s encourage myself : ¡¡xrspook, no te rajes!!

2005-03
16

Foggy Day

By xrspook @ 0:09:00 归类于: 烂日记

Believe or not, I have finished half of my daily book, it’s great!!! Have kept on donging this over half a year. The daily book is 1.5 centimetre, from 2004-11-07to now, I have written 0.75 centimetre. What a great job!!! Why I can bring out so much topic? My life seem really colourful from it. No matter they are good writting or not, they are valueable, it will become my unforgettable history in future. Maybe the grandchildren find grandmother’s stupid in it, or perhaps they even can find some bright minds from it. I don’t know whether it will happen, just let time to prove.

Spring, maybe it’s good for plants, but me.The rains always fall, and the bad thing is it dosen’t very large, but rains all the time. Secondly, the fog is awful too. All the sight become obscure and jsut like cover with a light white clothers. Unfortunately, the horrible of fog I haven’t talk about. The clothes are never dry again. Today you feel it, it’s wet; and tomorrow, it’s still wet, after a lot of day, it’s dry in the end, but at that time, you can’t tell apart which clothes you have hung for a few days, because there’re too many to count in balcony, and they are all smally.

When I was a child, everybody tell me the benenfit of spring. Do they really didn’t feel the weak point of it? Or they just give me a good dream, so they tell the white lie. I personally think, spring si a bad thing, I don’t like it. In Guangzhou, I can’t find a new atomsphere from it, the glass, the trees and everything are just the same, and even worse. Because some trees are falling in this season. All the things are in fog. It’s very hard for me to see the sunshine here. What new hope it bring to us? I feel nothing except disgusting.

In such weather, my feeling is not so good, in day time I want to go to sleep. In classes, I can’t focus myself in the teacher saying. Even at night, I can’t fall asleep very well. I know it’s not all the fault of weather. My heart is the spring of the ugly phenomenon. Compaint can do nothing, it’s even waste of my life, but is any laws fobbid us scold the weather?

I know at the place of the other side of the Pacific Ocean, some Americans also have to endure the same awful weather as us. Thinking about it can make me feel better.

At least, we are not the only country that has to face fog.

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2005-03
15

Chemical Experiment Embarrassing

By xrspook @ 20:45:54 归类于: 烂日记

The way of my learning chemistry was better than the physics one. Though it’s experiments also have the smae situation as my phyiscs experiments, what can I do???

The experiments are alway embarrassment to me. Every time, I must make more or less mistakes. Because of careless, because of diffferent unexpectable situation. So I always found myself in trouble when doing the experiments. For this, my teahcers will be angry with me, I don’t know why I will do so many silly things, I’m not a stupid in real life, but in experiment, I can’t preict so perfect. And then, the result is I failed again in the same experiment.

Now, my chemiscal experiment teacher is the same teacher who teacher my Inorganic and Analyze Chemistry last term. I don’t think my relation of her is too bad, at least my last achievement was not so bad, I had finished all my homework by myself, yet maybe sometimes I would "fishing" in her classes.

But this term, I found the relation between she and me are not so good. I never hated her, but now I’m really a little afraid her. I have noticed, when she faced others, she always smiles, but to me, just the serious I can feel. Till now, have scold by her many times, though I know that’s all because my careless. But did she need to do such cold thing to me??? Personally, she’s right, yet to me, it’s cruel. Maybe I also do the same thing to others, and what will others think about me??? The same??? I also hated by others??? Because we two point others’ weak point without any prevent??? Directly really can hurt oithers when we don’t know. Become and unwelcome person unintentional.

The chemical experiment classes really made me embarrass, at the same time it also make me carefully know myself. Known the action I have done or doing now, I was so cruel to others. Direct is good, but sometimes we also need a euphemistical way and some humor. I’m afraid the person do so cruel to me , so are others.

Now, I’m having philosophy classes. Right now I had watched a video "Alexander The Great"(亚历山大大帝) I don’t know why it would play this in philosophy classes. Now, the teacher is telling story again, so, it’s also time to over. It’s time to pay attention to my class.

Maybe, embarrassing can be a good thing.

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2005-03
14

Super High Jump- A Course in Physics

By xrspook @ 20:26:39 归类于: 烂日记

A Course in Physics, I’m not afraid of it. The history o fmy learning physics is so miracle. The first time I knew physics when I was in middle school, the time I had physics as my formal course, that situation was not so good, in my opinion, my first teacher (Lily) was a terrible person. But as our friendshiop came out by chance, my feeling turn from hate to like. I studied physics hard, because I wanted to give her more success. Have such a student, I hope she could be pround of me.

As time goes by, she left me also by chance. The teacher I didn’t like her too, though after some weeks, she found my power and even be pround of me, but I still hated her. At that time, I also learnt physics very hard, because I couldn’t lose my faces in front of her.

Went to high middle school, the situation became more unpleasant. Sent to a key physics class, the headteacher is a physics teacher. He’s sex is different from the physices teachers I had, he is a male. However, he also had a same point as the teachers I had- I hated him. But at that time, I never had ability to "give hime some colour to see see", I had do my best, but it didn’t work, so I gave up. Though I gave up the situation was not so bad as my expect, even in sometimes my physics achievement had become the top ten in class, yet it’s just an accident, I was even better than the students who chose physics.

When I was in Senior 2&3, the physics teacher changed. That’s the change point, I liked both of them, a male and a female. They are full of experience. If I had known them before, I must like physics very much, and that’s the kid to me.

Right now, I have to learn physics again. Every week, I have three physics classes and evey other week, I have two physics experiment classes. The speed of the physics classes are horrible. Each classes, the teacher cna teach a chapter, and then the homework will like the flood of water surging me again and again. The priciples of the knowledge are acceptable, but the way fo solve the real problem is another. The combination of high mathimatic and physics, it’s horrible for me.

The history of physics is so up and down, just like a miracle. Today, the road becomes hard to me again, maybe I can make a miracle, who knows?

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